Re-writing example: Automobile SUV for dealership

I re-wrote this text

The all-new 2014 Jeep Cherokee completely redefines the mid-size SUV segment, delivering legendary Jeep 4×4 capability, a segment-first nine-speed automatic transmission, fuel economy improvements of more than 45 percent (versus the outgoing Libertymodel), superior on-road ride and handling, a cutting-edge, revolutionary design, world-class craftsmanship, class-exclusive technology and more than 70 advanced safety and security features. The Jeep Cherokee is set to delight consumers both on the road and on the trail. The 2014 Jeep Cherokee provides a choice of three innovative 4×4 systems for best-in-class 4×4 capability in all weather conditions. The Jeep Cherokee is the first mid-size SUV to feature rear-axle disconnect, resulting in reduced energy loss when 4×4 capability isn’t needed, improving fuel efficiency. The rear-axle disconnect seamlessly switches between two- and four-wheel drive for full-time torque management.

into the following to drive leads and enquiries for a small dealership.

The all-new 2014 Jeep Cherokee has completely redefined the mid-size SUV market with its three innovative 4×4 systems, delivering best-in-class 4×4 capability in ALL weather conditions, delighting consumers both on the road and trail.

As the first mid-size SUV to feature rear-axle disconnect, the Cherokee will reduce energy loss when 4×4 capability isn’t needed with over 45% improved fuel economy versus the Liberty model. The rear-axle disconnect will seamlessly switch between two- and four-wheel drive for full-time torque management.

The revolutionary design, world-class craftsmanship, class-exclusive technology and over 70 advanced safety and security features are complimented by a segment-first nine-speed automatic transmission, superior on-road ride and handling delivering legendary Jeep 4×4 capability.

A summer marketing campaign that doubles leads and generates increased sales

Summer is apparently the season where B2B sales slow down. I beg to differ.

During the summer our marketing campaigns have managed to generate double the number of sales enquiries and our sales team brought in more revenue than the previous period a year ago.

How come? Well, marketing (and sales for that matter) isn’t rocket science, but instead about executing well thought out, integrated campaigns with a consistent message and call to action.

Let’s remember, particularly in the UK, decision makers still only take a week or two off each summer.

Our campaign consisted of:

• A brand new sales brochure
• Regular email newsletters
• A PR campaign
• Trade press adverts

All of which had a consistent creative message, design and call to action. A key point to note that even if we couldn’t secure the business in July or August, mainly due to people being away, budgets not yet set etc etc we’ve built a healthy pipeline which the sales teams can close leads during September and October.

During the first week of September we conducted a direct mail which I felt would be the perfect culmination to a 8 week marketing campaign. This has been so successful our sales pipeline looks very healthy and our sales leads have almost exceeded the same level as for the entire month of the previous September.

In this day and age when business is far harder to secure, and with healthy competition, its vital marketing departments find innovative ways to deliver sales leads throughout the year.